Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
