she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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