It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i would punch a child for taco bell
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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