i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
