Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
