we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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