Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
