the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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