So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
