I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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