so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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