Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
