Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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