So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
