Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
