I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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