I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
