Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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