tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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