Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
