He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
