So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
