There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You ruined the universe
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