Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
