Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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