Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
