try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
