He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i out mim tonsoeep
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
