Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
