Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
