she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
