my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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