just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
