I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
