Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize