How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
