I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
