think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
