Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
