At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
