o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
