Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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