it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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