What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
