The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
