Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
