I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
