before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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