I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
