I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
