Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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