sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
