Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
